I know, I know. Those photos were all the rage during the Myspace days. My friends and I would take cute selfies in the bathroom mirror at the mall, making duck faces, and sultry poses for our profile pics. Those were the good old days when bathroom selfies were popular. But sweetie, I promise you, there is no reason why you should rely on a bathroom mirror selfie for your marriage profile.
Why not? Usually the lighting is too dim, we can’t see your whole body, and your facial expression is too goofy for anybody to take you seriously. PLUS there’s always that off chance, that you didn’t actually clean the bathroom and so now you’re showing me your dirty boxers on the floor, and the leftover toothpaste you failed to clean in the sink. Next!
Dudes, please. We understand you’re proud of your pecs. We know you’ve been working really hard on the weekend to impress us with your athletic bod. But for the love of God, don’t show us any more gym photos. Especially not the ones with your shirt off. (I mean both men and women are supposed to have hayat right???)
Instead, why don’t you show us a picture of you playing basketball, or in the middle of a hike. Do you like to run marathons? Maybe share a picture of the moment you crossed the finish line. I love a good athlete myself, but let’s be a little more tasteful, eh? Women need more than just a picture of your biceps. We want to see someone who has hobbies. Someone who likes the outdoors, or enjoys a team sport. While you might be trying to show us what’s important to you, using gym photos is a bit overplayed. Don’t you think?
They say food is the way to a man’s heart. For most women, we love a guy with a sense of humor. Personally, if a guy’s profile makes me laugh, I swipe right. Why? Because as the Prophet SWS said, “smiling is an act of charity,” and laughter/ light-heartedness is a gateway to more smiling. I see men who try to be funny, but don’t actually put enough time into their profiles to be funny. Instead, their one-liners are a bit...well... dumb. Here’s an actual real-life example of a guy’s About Me section: “Just looking for someone cute. But savage. But cute.” Mmhmm, next!
I’ve come across one too many profiles where the dude writes “JUST WRITING STUFF TO GET PAST THE WORD COUNT BLAH BLAH BLAHHHHH.” And yes, I get it. Maybe you’ve just popped in for the first time to see what the vibe is. Maybe you were feeling the pressure from the rishta aunties, or your older married siblings, and you just jumped onto the app and didn’t have time to properly fill out your profile so you wrote googly-garp to get past the word count. But now that you’re serious about finding a mate, please go back and take time to write out a thoughtful description about who you are and what you’re looking for. Just twenty minutes of reflection will suffice. A little work goes a long way for profile writing!
There are some men that attempt to write the fewest words possible on a profile, and others that attempt to write their memoir! While it may be tempting to pour your heart out to your potential future spouse, don’t. Oversharing can be damaging when you haven’t gotten the chance to meet someone in real life. Here’s an example of a profile my friend swiped left on, “I write poetry to my future spouse.” It’s hard to tell if that’s cute or a little creepy when you just don’t know the person. So stick to general facts on your profile: where you’re from, what you like to do, what type of person you’re looking to marry. It’s as simple as that!
Now, go forward young jedi, and re-write your profile. May the force be with you.
Writing about oneself for the purpose of finding love is no easy task. Unless you’re a narcissist, the idea of jazzing yourself up to attract potential suitors probably sounds as bad as eating a handful of dirt. But in this digital age, online dating is just part of the territory that comes with finding a soulmate. So to make it easy for you, I’ve put together a quick and dirty list of don'ts for writing that perfect profile. If you find yourself blushing because I’ve called you out on this list, please do not be embarrassed! Simply hop back into your profile and CLEAN IT UP!
Writer Nailah Dean