Bisma Parvez for Minder
You might be wondering what the coronavirus has to do with finding a spouse and at face value, it may not seem like much. But as Muslims, we know that any calamity or mercy that comes our way is from Allah (swt) so that we can take a lesson from what is happening around us.
With everyone acutely aware of their mortality at this time, it’s important to remember that the coronavirus is a sign of Allah’s power and a sign of our need for Him. With the Kaaba and masjids around the world being empty, we are reminded that Allah does not need us to worship him. It is us who need Him.
And so we are reminded that finding a spouse is also a way to worship Allah and is considered half your deen, subhanAllah. If this time has shown us anything, it is that life is short, our time on Earth is temporary and our ultimate home is in the afterlife. While we look for spouses who are tall, skinny, good looking, and rich, we should remember that the main attribute of our spouse is someone who will help us enter Jannah. Here are some things we recommend you look for in a spouse:
Look for good character
The Prophet (saw) said that the best of us are those who have good manners. When considering someone for marriage, see how they treat their family, their friends, and even strangers. Spend time with them in public if you can and see how they treat the people they interact with on a daily basis. Do they say “excuse me” or hold the door open? If they’re constantly talking bad about people, backbiting, or acting arrogant, that’s a sign of someone with bad character. Manners are extremely important in Islam.
Look for good actions
Realistically, you never know if someone is a “good” Muslim because only God knows what’s in their hearts, but actions are also important. You should look for someone who prays five times a day or at least tries to and someone who avoids major sins. Your future spouse should do good deeds, things that benefit not just them personally, but also humanity. Partners make each other better and remember Allah together. While it’s not someone else’s responsibility to make you better, it sure is nice when your partner wants both of you to be better Muslims together.
Look at their family
Our families shape the person we become. While there are many people who are different than their family, it is still valid to look at a person’s family to get an idea of where they come from. The Prophet (saw) said that we can consider someone’s family when looking for a spouse. Does the family have deen? Do they pray and are they known in their Muslim community? Do they have a clean home and good manners? If they do, then it is highly likely that their child also has these traits and will raise a family in a similar manner.
Look for references
Do your homework. In Islam, we are allowed to ask about someone when we want to marry them. People who know your future partner can tell you about him or her. Reach out to mutual friends, community members, or the masjid to find out about the person you want to marry and their family. You could get some insight that will help you make a decision.
Looking at all these factors will help you find a spouse who is good for you in this world but especially good for you in the afterlife. Coronavirus or not, this life is temporary. So pray to Allah (swt) to give you a spouse who will be a good partner in life and in Jannah.
May Allah (swt) guide you to the one who completes half your deen. Ameen!